WheelofTimeorama
by FayEvenstar
Summary: Absoloutely random story about WoT charatcers just living and going to Candy Land and Super Mario world and really random stuff. ITs fun. Bear with it. R&R. :D
1. The Return of Moiraine and her Hat

Disclaimer: I do not own Wheel of Time or ay characters involved, or teletubbies, or Super Mario, or Candy Land. But I DO own Mr. Gillies, Mr. Middletone, and Ms. G, and Minstrel Martin. They are my slaves. Bwa ha ha ha ha. Oh I don't own Barney either. Enjoy. :D  
  
The Wheel of Time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, and Age yet to come, and Age long past, a sniff rose in the common room of an Ebou Dar inn. The sniff was not a beginning. There are neither beginnings or endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.  
  
The sniff came from Egwene al'Vere, who sat waiting in an inn in Ebou Dar (easy for you too say :D). Nynaeve and Elayne were always late when the matter at hand was not a life-or-death situation. Her long dark hair was very smooth, and it glistened in the dim light of the inn's common-room. As she glanced around, she noticed a girl sitting cross-legged on a bench, drinking shot after shot of liquid. Probably oosquai, Egwene thought. The girl looked awfully familiar though... Egwene got up and walked over, and as she drew nearer her suspicions were proven. Min Farshaw sat glaring at the row of men across from her, and she put back another round of drink. They all grunted disbelievingly, and their represenative reluctantly brought the shot glass to his mouth. He managed to drink it all, but then he fell back in a dead faint.  
"Ha! That's 20 silver marks, you fools!" Min cried, and the men narrowed their eyes as they dug in their pockets for coins. Once it was all handed over, they walked sullenly away, and Min cackled to herself. It treats the bloody woolbrained fools right, she thought.  
"Min?!?" Egwene exclaimed. Min whipped around, half-drawing knives from her sleeves until she noticed the speaker.  
"Hullo, Egwene!" Min grinned drunkenly.  
"How many shots was that????"  
"Oh, only about 3." Egwene raised an eyebrow at her.  
"Okay, 23. I needed some money, okay?????" Min frowned as Egwene sniffed. Suddenly the door to the inn burst open, and Nynaeve and Elayne walked in. Egwene rounded on them.  
"Why are you so late?? I have been waiting for you for nearly an hour!" Egwene glared at them and looked very dangerous. Both other women shrunk back a bit.  
"Sorry, we were...delayed. We found Rand in the street...he is staying at the same inn we are," Elayne sighed. Min whipped around again, from where she had been stroking her new coins and silently cackling.  
"Rand? Where? Let me at him!"  
"Not here, Min," Nynaeve snapped, rolling her eyes. "What is with you?"  
"Oh she's drunk," Egwene replied matter-of-factly.  
"I am not drunk."  
"Yes you are."  
"No I'm not."  
"Yes you are."  
"No, I'm not." This could go on forever, so Egwene finally resorted to saying  
"I am the Amyrlin Seat, don't argue with me, you're drunk."  
"Fine," Min said, her caring level dropping, and she went back to stroking her coins.  
"Anyway," Nynaeve said, "Why did you want to meet us in the first place?"  
"Well, I just haven't seen you in a long time and I want to chat." Nynaeve eyed her suspiciously, getting a grip on her braid in case Egwene made her mad and she needed to pull it.  
"About what?"  
"Just...stuff," Egwene said honestly, and Elayne, being the brainless (yet amusing) person she is, giggled and said,  
"Okay! *heeheehee* Where are we going?" The three women decided to go outside in the street to try and catch a carriage. They decided to bring Min along too, because she is cool and also to drunk to remain alone (she somehow managed to get five more drinks while the others were talking), especially when Rand was within 2 miles.  
They dragged Min away from the drinks and went outside. The smell of salt water wafted through the air, and Nynaeve nearly gagged in rememberance of her sea-sickness. They hailed a random green carriage and got in. It was not unlike hailing a taxi in New York. As Nynaeve got in, she remembered that green was Lan's favorite colors. Where was he? As Egwene got in, she thought that she could have gotten a much more decent carriage if the man had known she was Amyrlin. How dare he not offer her a better carriage! Sniff. As Elayne got in, she thought about how cute puppies were, and how cute green puppies would be. Awwww! As Min got in, she thought about the silver coins in her breeches pocket and cackled, earning her an odd look from Egwene, but Min did not care- she was rich! Bwa ha ha ha ha. The carriage rolled along and the women chatted randomly about...nothing. Finally Min and Elayne were caught up in talking of Rand and how great a kisser he was, and Egwene and Nynaeve were left staring.  
"Oh, really? He really likes my red dress, with the coral lipstick..."  
"Wow, he likes my breeches and lack-of-makeup!"  
"Really? That is sooo cool!"  
"I know!" They both giggled, though Min's sounded more like a "bwa ha ha ha" and Elayne's sounded more like an "I am obsessed with Rand, I hope nobody knows".  
"So, Egwene, are you still besotted with Gawyn?" Min asked, her drinks wearing off by now. Egwene blushed, and then nodded.  
"Yes. I have bonded him as my Warder." They all ooh-ed and ah-ed.  
"That's a big step," Elayne said knowingly, though she knew nothing about it at all.  
"...Yeah... I guess," Egwene replied. Min just sat trying to think of what Elayne meant. Egwene, wanting the subject off of herself for one of the few times in her life, asked,  
"Nynaeve, are you still hopelessly in love with Lan?" Nynaeve, caught off gaurd, snapped  
"It is not hopeless!" Min laughed.  
"Ha! You are! Hahaha! I am so right! Go me! Haha Rand likes smart ladies, Elayne, I win!!!! " Min was very proud. Elayne didn't get it, so agreed. Egwene, however, cocked her eyebrow and sniffed again.  
"Of course it's not hopeless, I meant... Well anyway, have you seen him since Moiraine died?" Nynaeve blushed, then frowned.  
"...No." Suddenly the driver opened a flap in the front to look back at them and tell them about some historical landmark, but they were all surprised when they driver said,  
"That is so strange! I thought Myrelle would have passed the bond onto you by now." They all jumped, Nynaeve especially. Moiraine was peering back at them from the drivers seat of the carriage, dressed in a simple dress with a big brown engineers hat.  
"Moiraine! Sedai. I thought you were..." Egwene began.  
"Moiraine! Ohmigosh! Rand isn't crazy yet! You still have time!" Elayne squeaked.  
"...Moiraine? Nice hat!" Min added, a little late.  
"YOU!" Nynaeve accused.  
"No, I'm not. Good, I'm glad he's not mad. Thanks, I got it 50% off at Filenes. Yes, me," Moiraine answered, somehow able to look cool and composed in a stupid engineer hat. Nynaeve glared at her.  
"How long have you been alive? Where is Lan?" she demanded.  
"I don't know exactly, but I know he is in Ebou Dar."  
"Hey, why didn't you come find us when you came back to life?" Elayne wondered.  
"Elayne, shut up," said Nynaeve. Elayne stuck her nose up in the air and sniffed, inhaling a random cantaloupe that was in the carriage with them in the process. She sneezed it out, and Min started laughing again. Egwene was still in shock, so she did not notice any of it.  
"Where in Ebou Dar? Near here?" Nynaeve asked, pulling her braid as she stared down Moiraine, hating her for not speaking faster.  
"I don't know! Light, you are impatient, aren't you?" Nynaeve sniffed, and Egwene suddenly un-froze.  
"You sniffed at Moiraine Sedai! That is *almost* disgracing the Tower! *gasp*!" Egwene gasped.  
"I don't care. Moiraine, I know you know where he is. Tell me."  
"Make me." Moiraine stuck her tongue out at Nynaeve, which was a very un-Aes Sedai thing to do.  
"Make me make you!"  
"Make me make you make me!"  
"Make me make you make me make you!"  
"Make me make you make me make you make me!"  
"Make me make you make me make you make me make you!"  
"Make me...uh...make me make... er...oh well, it doesn't matter; I don't know where he is, Nynaeve!"  
Nynaeve glared at her, and demanded that she let her out of this filthy carriage. Moiraine stopped as told.  
"Who is coming with me?" she  
asked.  
"I will! I will!" Min shouted.  
"Oh, me too! Maybe we will find Rand," Elayne decided. Egwene was pained with decision, but finally decided to go with Nynaeve. Moiraine sniffed.  
"Light, you're dead for a book and a half, and no one wants to talk!" With that she sped away in her bumpy carriage.  
"Well. Where should we look first? Too bad Perrin isn't here, he could sniff him out for us. Or, for me," she added when Egwene gave her an impetuous look. Suddenly a lightbulb went off above Min's head.  
"I know! I have a pack of weasels with the best sense of smell around. They can hunt him down in no time!" Min exclaimed.  
"Okay..." Nynaeve said. It sounded far-out, but she would do anything to get the heart of her heart back.  
"Weasels!!!!!" Min cried, and she called out their names as little brown weasels shot out of nowhere to circle her.  
"...Bob, George, Fred, Joe, Alfred, Paul, Cookie, Betty, Mildred, Chiquita Banana, and...Rand jr!!!!!!" she said happily. "Alright, you weasels... go get 'em!" Bob, George, Fred, Joe, Alfred, Paul, Cookie, Betty, Mildred, Chiquita Banana, and Rand jr ran off, and Min followed them. Egwene, Elayne and Nynaeve exchanged looks before running after her. As they chased after the faithful weasels, a man dressed in orange and green checkered clothes suddenly skipped out of nowhere and caught the weasels in a big net. He was carrying a harp-ish thing.  
"Who in the Pit of Doom are you?" Nynaeve demanded.  
"Minstrel Martin!!!!" he declared.  
"Get out of my way. I am looking for the love of my life."  
"..How bout no, Scott?" he said sincerely.  
"My name's not Scott," Nynaeve growled.  
"Me neither," Min said.  
"Me neither," Elayne said.  
"Me neither," Egwene said.  
"Okay, well, you still can't go by. I am going to kill you now. Prepare to die." Minstrel Martin drew a plastic butter knife from deep inside his harp-thing.  
"Okay, okay, kill me... but please, let the weasels go free!" Min wept.  
"No." The Minstrel advanced, and they all turned to run. Min was saying, "Give me weasels, or cotton candy.. or give me death!!".Nynaeve tripped and twisted her ankle, and felt the butter knife scratch her bare leg. She waited for it all to end, when suddenly she heard a high-pitched scream of outrage and the knife flew off of her, and Min caught it. Nynaeve sat up and saw Lan dueling with Minstrel Martin. We won't go into details, but Lan won, and Minstrel Martin was soon a bloody pulp laying on the street. Elayne realized who it was, and started giggling madly until she fell over. Min had rushed over to the net and cut it open, and the weasels poured out of it. Egwene was staring at Lan, who rushed over to Nynaeve. Nynaeve was staring too, and was not prepared for him to scoop her up into her arms- you know, the whole carry-over-the-thresh hold deal.  
"....Lan!" Nynaeve managed. "What are you doing here? Who was that man?"  
"Minstrel Martin. He comes from deep within the depths of the GAP store." Nynaeve shuddered. Vile place.  
"What are you doing here?" she asked.  
"I came to save you."  
"How did you know I was going to need saving?"  
"I have a sense for these things," he shrugged.  
"Okay. Well, I have forgiven you about Myrelle, just so you know, and I still love you.Forever, and ever, we never will part and I will love you.." Nynaeve blushed as she realized she was going off in a song from the 80's, although the 80's had not happened yet.  
"Good! I love you too!" Yay, Nynaeve thought. Suddenly he kissed her, and Egwene, who had been staring, dropped her eyes. Elayne was still doubled over giggling, and Min was still rejoicing with the weasels, singing "We are family", so nobody saw. Egwene assumed they were done and looked up again, but they were still fastened passionately together at the lips, so she dropped her eyes again. This happened three more times, but the fourt time she looked up Nynaeve was simply gazing into his eyes. Egwene stood up and tapped Nynaeve on the shoulder.  
"Nynaeve? Should we get going now? Nynaeve?" Nynaeve did not move. "Lan?" Finally she slapped Nynaeve, and Nynaeve came-to. She did not even care, or berate Egwene. She simply said,  
"Oh, yes. Let's go back to our inn." At this Elayne and Min both came running over.  
"Yes! Let's! Oh, please let us go back to the inn." Egwene was suspicious at first, then remembered that Rand was staying at the same inn Nynaeve and Elayne were staying at.  
"..Okay. Mush, you huskies." Min and Egwene had to drag Elayne along, for she kept going off in random spazzes of giggling, and Lan still carried Nynaeve. She claimed her ankle hurt, but Egwene did not think that was all of it.  
When they got to the inn, the first thing that Elayne did was run to the innkeeper and demand what room al'Thor, Rand was in. He said there was no such person. She frowned and looked at the list, and smiled when she saw Almighty and Powerful Dragon Reborn, the in room 94.  
"Min! Let's go!" Elayne said, and hurried off to find room 94, Min trailing behind with weasels randomly draped on her shoulders.  
Egwene asked the keeper for a room, and she ended up in room 86. It turned out that Nynaeve and Elayne's room was room 90, so they were all in the same corridor. Egwene went into her room and declared that she was up to important Amyrlin duties. Nynaeve and Lan disappeared into her room. 


	2. Teletubbies and Elaida Strike Fear Into ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Rand sat on his bed, trying to look hard and buff and important. He could never get it just right. Lan could do it so well! Maybe if he practiced the sword a bit more... suddenly the door burst open and Elayne and Min ran inside.  
"Rand!" The chorused.  
"...Elayne! Min! Weasels!" He said.  
"Hi!" Min said excitedly.  
"What's with the weasels?"  
"They are my brothers and sisters. I was raised by weasels in the wild. Do you have a problem with that??" Min glared at him. He shook his head.  
"Of course not. I just wasn't... aware."  
"So, Rand, what's new?"  
"Well, I'm being stalked by Lanfear."  
"That dirty..." Min went off on a rant about how Forsaken should not be able to wear anything besides a turtle neck and stretch pants, certainly not the things Lanfear wore. Sulk.  
"Oh Wandy-poo! I am so sorry!" Elayne cooed, and Min rolled her eyes.  
"Sheepherder, just balefire her. Not that hard!" They both closed in for what would be some intense comforting when suddenly a woman in a tight pink leather cat suit jumped through the window.  
"Ahhhhhhhh! I must be the ruler of Candy Land! Where is King Kandy? He must be impeached! Aaaaargggggggh!" With that she raced out the door and slammed it behind her. All three exchanged odd looks.  
"Well then," Rand began uncertainly.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lan carried Nynaeve into her room and lay her down on the bed. Her ankle really did hurt, actually, but she thought she might be able to walk by herself... but being carried was fun. When she was settled on the bed, which was actually quite comfortable for a lower-class inn, Lan noticed the scratches on her leg which Minstrel Martin had made.  
"They must be cleaned right away, Nynaeve. I will call for some water and bandages." Lan plucked a servant out of the hallway and bade her go fetch some medical tools. As she scurried away, he came back inside and knelt beside Nynaeve's bed... if he sat in the chair, he was too tall. Nynaeve shifted, and winced at the pain in her leg. That was a sharp butter knife! Lan, noticing her pain, bent down and kissed all her scratches. Nynaeve smiled; she had waited soooooooo long for him to kiss her again. Maybe she had not fantasized about on the leg, but it was better than nothing.  
"Better, my love?" he asked.  
"Much." At that moment the servant came in, carrying a bowl of water and some cloth to serve as a bandage. When she scurried away again, Lan washed off the scratches and pressed pieces of cloth onto them... but they would not stay on, so finally he gave up and tied the cloth around her ankle, since it *apparently* was hurt.  
"Thank you, Lan."  
"Of course."  
"Lan? Do you still love me, or has time changed your mind?" Nynaeve was not sure if she wanted to know the answer.  
"Of course I still love you. Forever." Yay! Nynaeve could never have been happier.  
"What about you?" Nynaeve considered this, but soon she could take it no longer and she grabbed his face and pulled him down to her. They kissed for a while, and then Lan retracted back to his kneeling position.  
"Does that answer your question?" she asked. Before he had a chance to answer, though he obviously would say yes, the door burst open and a strange looking woman in a pink cat suit ran in.  
"Are you King Kandy? I must find him! He must be impeached! Candy Land will be mine, forever!!! Bwa ha ha ha ha!"  
"No, actually, no I'm not King Kandy..." Lan said.  
"Darn. I must find him!! I....must.....rule....CANDY....LAND!!!!!"  
"What are you doing in my room?" Nynaeve demanded. "Get out! Now!" With that the strange woman darted out and slammed the door loudly.  
"Okay..." Nynaeve was fairly stunned by all of it. She patted the blanket next to her and he sat down and put his arm around her shoulders.  
"Good... I'm tired, I need to lean on something besides this stiff headboard," Nynaeve decided. She leaned into him and fell almost instantly asleep. It was very tiring, being attacked by a Minstrel.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Egwene's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Egwene was lounging in a couch, watching Lakers vs Nicks on cable, drinking a Bud Lite and eating dozens of Cheetos. Suddenly there was a frantic knock at the door. Egwene quickly pushed a button in the wall and the couch and tv went away, and she stuffed the beer and cheese ouffs under her bed. After all, she was supposed to be up to important Amyrlin stuff. She had only just gotten everything away when the door opened and a woman in a pink, leather catsuit charged in.  
"King Kandy! I must find him! Have you seen King Kandy? Candy Land will be mine! The Teletubbies will be my slaves, forever! Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Egwene was shocked for a moment. Those eyes looked familiar...  
"Moiraine?" she asked dubiously.  
"How DARE you think I would parade around in an outfit like that, Egwene al'Vere!" a shrill voice shrieked. Egwene whipped around and saw Moiraine climbing through her window, still in her engineers hat, and a simple blue dress.  
"Well who is this?" Egwene asked, pointing at the lady in pink.  
"This is Elaida. I tortured her until she went mad." Moiraine looked quite pleased with herself. Egwene turned back to the woman.  
"Hahhahahahahahahahahahaha! SUCKER!!!"  
"King Kandy! Is that you?" the woman asked admiringly.  
"No, you doof! I am the Amyrlin Seat!" Moiraine did a double-take.  
"Say again?"  
"No, you doof! I am the Amyrlin Seat!"  
"Siuan Sanche is the Amyrlin!"  
"HA! Thing have changed bigtime since you died, baby." Moiraine looked miffed.  
"Damn. This means I will have to start manipulating even more people to somehow get you kicked out and me elected... this will be so hard..." she began muttering to herself, and Elaida looked at her strangely.  
"I'm off to rule Candy Land!" Suddenly Elaida ran out the door again. And slammed it. Egwene sniffed.  
"Moiraine, why did you break into my room?"  
"I thought this was Nynaeve's room. I need to have a chat with her about Lan. He is mine. All mine! She can't have him! My, preciousssssssssssssssss." Moiraine's voice turned into a hiss. Egwene was scared. And scarred.  
"Well, her room is room 82. So you go do that." Moiraine wandered out, muttering about "We founds it, it is ours! Tricksey little wilder stoles it from us... Precious, we will gets it back..." Egwene gave her an odd look and then decided to go warn Nynaeve about it. She sneaked out and started up the hall to Nynaeve's room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Room 82 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Moiraine burst in on a random people sitting around and talking.  
"Nynaeve! He is mine! BACK OFF! Oh by the way have you seen Elaida around?" The people stared at her. Except, they weren't people. And, they weren't talking. They were gurgling. They were... TELETUBBIES!  
"AHHHHHHHHHH! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!" Moiraine bolted out into the hall and closed the door, panting with fear.  
"That was a close one. Oh no , Elaida is right... she is building an army of mindless teletubbies! Run away!!!!!!!!! But first; I must find Nynaeve." With that she set out to try and find Nynaeve's room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nynaeve suddenly woke up, and remembered where she was. She looked up at Lan and smiled. He was still awake, of course, holding her. She was quite warm. How cool is this, she thought. He bent his head down and they kissed, and Nynaeve thought it would last forever. But forever would not be long enough. Suddenly the door burst open again, and Egwene panted in.  
"Nynaeve, you'll never guess, Elaida and Moiraine and- oh." Egwene dropped her eyes in embarrassement. Nynaeve processed that there was someone else in the room, and slowly untangled herself from Lan. It was hard to do. When they were finally only sitting next to each other, with his arm around her shoulder, Egwene continued. Nynaeve could not help blushing.  
"Okay, Moiraine is here and she is looking for you, Nynaeve. She says Lan is her.. her preciousssssssssssssssssssssss." Lan shook his head.  
"She has been reading to much Lord of the Rings."  
"...Right. But anyway did you see a woman in a pink leather suit?"  
"Yes!" Nynaeve said. "She barged right in on... us." She blushed again.  
"Okay, well that is Elaida. Moiraine tortured her until she went mad. She says she is going to own teletubbies and rule Candy Land." Suddenly Moiraine came in, too.  
"No! It's true! The teletubbies are here! They will rule all!"  
"Oh, look," Egwene said sadly, "Moiraine has gone mad too. What a shame."  
"No really! I saw them! And Egwene, you lied. You said Nynaeve was in room 82. Aes Sedai will not be pleased."  
"Oh, I haven't sworn on the Oath Rod, so ha." Suddenly Moiraine noticed Nynaeve and Lan in bed, though that's not really what it was. They were just sitting on it. It just sounds like something else. Anyway.  
"Nynaeve!" she shrieked. At this Nynaeve put her arms around Lan defiantly.  
"Moiraine!" Nynaeve mimicked in a shrill voice.  
"Don't you take that tone with me, young lady!" Moiraine said angrily.  
"Don't you take that tone with me, young lady!'  
"Stoppit! I'm older than you, Nynaeve!"  
"Stoppit! I'm older than you, Nynaeve!"  
"STOPPIT! Lan, make her stop."  
"STOPPIT! Lan, make her stop." Nynaeve was having fun with this.  
"You can't call me young lady!"  
"Oh, right, I'm sorry.. You're old."  
"ANYWAY," Egwene interupted, "Are you DONE? You two are so immature. Light. Moiraine, why are you here?"  
"To chat with Nynaeve about Lan." Nynaeve tightened her grip around Lan's waist.  
"What is there to chat about?!?!" Nynaeve demanded.  
"Light, Nynaeve! Just shut up for a second!" Egwene cried, thoroughly frustrated at the pair of Aes Sedai.  
"Well anyway, he is so my Warder, and Nynaeve just can't have him. She just... can't."  
"Wow, that makes a lot of sense," Nynaeve said sarcastically, and Egwene shot her a look.  
"It's just not right for her 2 be, like, you know, kissing him."  
"Oh, it so is," Nynaeve broke in. With that, just to spite Moiraine, she began kissing all over Lan's face and neck. Lan just sat there, feeling used and not knowing what to do.  
"Blood and ashes, Nynaeve! Calm down!" Egwene grumbled, rolling her eyes.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The three of them had honestly just sat and talked for all the time after (apparently) Elaida had come by.. They did not want anymore unexpected visits. It turned out, they did not have much to say. Now they were playing I-Spy.  
"I spy, with my little eye, something... empty," Min said.  
"Empty?"  
"Yeah, empty, sheepherder. You got a problem with that?"  
"No, no. Hmmmm." They looked around for something, and finally were stumped.  
"Okay, okay. Are you ready? It's.... Elayne's head! Hahahahahahahahaha." Elayne didn't get it, but she ws happy at being included in the joke she so laughed too. Rand wasn't sure of he should laugh or deny it.  
"My turn!" Elayne said.  
"Why?"  
"Because I was part of Min's joke!"  
"So? No one guessed it! It's my turn again," Min demanded.  
"Fine, Min. Once more." Min had done it the last 7 times.  
"Okay. I spy, with my little eye, something shiny." Elayne's eyes lit up.  
"I love shiny things!"  
"I dunno, Min, what?" Rand asked.  
"My shiny new silver coins that I won! Hahahahaha, I'm rich!"  
  
About ten minutes later  
  
"No, no, no, you do it all wrong, sheepherder. It's like this. *cackle*."  
"I can't do it, Min. I will never know how to cackle." Rand wiped a tear from his eye.  
"I can! I can!" Elayne said, and went on in a fit of evil-sounding giggles.  
"No, Elayne, you're wrong. Give it up." Min rolled her eyes.  
  
Ten more minutes later  
  
"B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was him name-o!" Thy all sang.  
"And on that farm he had a... I think we've done every animal on earth, guys," Rand said.  
"And on that farm he had a WEASEL!" Min cried.  
"E-I-E-I-O!"  
"With a *weasel noise* here, and a *wesel noise* there, here a weasel there a weasel everywhere a weasel weasel old McDonald had a farm.."  
"Hey, wait," Rand said. "I think we got the songs messed up."  
"Wow, we should do something else now. I'm going mad," Min said.  
"Me too," Rand said. Me too, Lews Therin muttered.  
"Let's go find Egwene and Nynaeve and Lan!" Elayne said.  
"Lan?? Finally! Another GUY! I can practice the sword forms!" Rand cried delightedly. They al ran out to find the three other people.  
They came to rom 90 and didn't bother to knock. As they walked in, they found Egwene rolling her eyes, Nynaeve and Lan sitting on the bed.. Nynaeve was kissing Lan within an inch of his life (she had switched to his lips now). As she kissed him she glared at another woman. The woman was...  
"Moiraine?" Rand said dubiously.  
"Rand al'Thor!" Moiraine screeched at him. She was in a foul mood because of Nynaeve.  
"Nynaeve!" Rand said, even more dubiously. "What are you doing?" Nynaeve just noticed the three visitors, and she pulled herself off of Lan.  
"It's not what it seems!" she cried desperately. "I'm just trying to make Moiraine mad."  
"Light, Nynaeve, have you no self control?" Elayne asked. Nynaeve shot her a look and leaned against Lan, glowering.  
"Moiraine! Get out! You can't have Lan!" Egwene said.  
"Rand al'Thor! You pathetic excuse for a Dragon bloody Reborn! You are such a flaming woolheaded sheepherder that-"  
"Watch your language," Nynaeve muttered.  
"Hey hey! Watch it, Moiraine! Only I can call him sheepherder!" Min said.  
"I'd like to see you try and stop me." With that Min flung herself on Moiraine. They had a major catfight, complete with scratching kicking biting and hair pulling.  
"Get her, Min!" Nynaeve shouted. Egwene only rolled her eyes again.  
"Light! Get a grip! Nynaeve, stop sulking. Moiraine and Min, stop fighting. Elayne and Rand, stop kissing." Elayne blushed. "Lan, just...well actually you're not doing anything." Lan looked pleased with himself. Finally it pays off, he thought.  
"Okay. Now, we are all going down to dinner. ALL of us. Got it?" Egwene ordered.  
"I don't want to," Moiraine whined.  
"TOUGH." Egwene marched them all downstairs. Besides Elayne and Lan, every last one was sulking.  
"Egwene, why do you have to be so bossy?" Rand asked childishly, sounding like a boy talking to his older sister.  
"Shut up Rand."  
Egwene booked a table for 8. As they arrived at the table, there was a big fancy seat at one end and a not-so-fancy one on the other end. On the sides were benches.  
"Sit where you like, children," Egwene said, kiddingly. Rand went for the big seat.  
"Rand! Get out!"  
"But you said-"  
"I lied! That is my seat! OUT!" Rand got out reluctantly.  
"Sit at the other end, if you must. That is the Dragon Reborn seat. This is the Amyrlin Seat." Rand laughed at the joke.  
"No really. I brought it with me." She looked serious, so Rand wisely stopped laughing and trotted off to the other end.  
"Haha! Not if I get there first! Now it's the Moiraine Seat." Rand sat down, on the verge of tears, on a bench, muttering about "foul, mean old Aes Sedai taking his seat." Egwene heard him.  
"Are you calling me old, Rand al'Thor?"  
"Maybe I am."  
"Should everybody know all the nick names your father used to call you when you were a little boy? Believe me, I know," Egwene threatened.  
"Haha! I know them too!" Nynaeve said. She grinned at Egwene, who grinned back. This was fun. Rand did not grin..this was just like old times, Nynaeve and Egwene ganging up on him. Min looked at Nynaeve, and Elayne looked at Egwene. At the same time they both said,  
"Oooh, tell us! We should know." Rand buried his face in his hands, and Nynaeve and Egwene went off on all the embarrassing names his father used to call him like "rand the man" and "randy-bumpkins" and many others. Moiraine howled with laughter and made a mental note to call him all these names when he miffed her. Lan actually laughed at a lot of them, and Rand felt betrayed.  
"It's not my fault! I was a mindless country bumpkin back then, okay! Now I am almighty and powerful!" At this Moiraine laughed even louder.  
"Ha, that's what you think. I am almighty and powerful!"  
"No, I am! I rule Candy Land! Ha ha ha!" Elaida suddenly appeared. Four teletubbies were stationed behind her.  
"Tinkey-winkey!" the purple one said.  
"Blahlbahlabh" said the green one (i don't remember its name).  
"La-la," the yellow one chorused.  
"Po," finished the red one.  
"Oh, have you killed King Kandy yet?" Nynaeve asked sarcastically.  
"No, not yet. But this is what these teletubbies are for!" Elaida cried. Min, curious about the things, bopped on one the head.  
"Uh-ohhhhh!" It said in the trademark voice. Min's hand leapt back.  
"Strange. Oh, wait! I see your aura!" Min lied.  
"Really? What does it say?"  
"It says... it says King Kandy is that way!" She pointed to the door. "He is in...Falme. Yes, and you are destined to kill him and... and take over Candy Land! Hurray!" Elaida screamed in joy.  
"I knew it! Yes! Let's go, tubbies!" and she raced out the door. The teletubbies followed her.  
"Well, that got rid of her easily," Min said.  
  
They all ate dinner, and retired to their rooms. They called up a cot for Elayne, and she Min and Rand slept in Rand's room, which now had three beds. Moiraine offered to stay in Nynaeve and Elayne's room, which was now Nynaeve and Lan's room, but Nynaeve refused. It worked out though, because Nynaeve's room had one bed instead of two, like Rand's had originally, so it was perfect. Nynaeve booted Moiraine out into Egwene's room. 


	3. Pursuit of the Pillows

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Egwene's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Egwene got into bed, and turned out the light, leaving Moiraine standing.  
"Ah hem." Egwene did not stir.  
"Ah hem." Egwene still did not stir.  
"AH HEM! EGWENE!"  
"What?" ` "Where do I sleep?"  
"Like I care."  
"I will whine ALL night."  
"Fine! Okay, you can't tell anybody about this, it would screw up time, because this a thing of the future..." Moiraine looked at her like she was stupid. Egwene pushed the button in the wall, and the tv and couch appeared. Now Beevis and Butthead was on tv.  
"Sleep on the couch."  
"Wow..." Moiraine said, staring at the screen.  
"I know, I know." Egwene and Moiraine sat watching Beevis and Butthead as Egwene explained it all and made Moiraine swear not to tell anyone. Then she got 2 beers and gave one to Moiraine.  
"Comfy?"  
"Wow," Moiraine repeated.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lan was sitting under the covers with his back against the headboard while Nynaeve sat on a chair, giving her hair it's 100 strokes. When she was done she slipped under the covers too.  
"You looked beautiful with your hair down, love," Lan said.  
"Go me," Nynaeve replied. "You always look gorgeous." They leaned into a kiss, and suddenly Nynaeve pulled away and said,  
"Wait... I'm locking the door, in case Elaida or Moiraine or someone bursts in." She locked the door, then returned.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Rand, this cot doesn't have any pillows," Min accused.  
"It's not my fault!" he said from where he was comfortably perched on his own bed.  
"Urrgh. I'll go get one from Egwene. Lan and Nynaeve are probably busy." Elayne giggled, Min growled and left.  
She stalked down the hall. She needed a good pillow. When she got to Egwene's room, she knocked on the door.  
"Egwene? Egwene it's Min. I need a pillow."  
"Go away!" Came a voice from inside.  
"Wow," Moiraine's voice said stupidly.  
"Shut up, Moiraine. Uh, I'm asleep, go get one from Nynaeve."  
"Come on, Egwene, get your lazy butt up and give me a pillow!"  
"I uh only have one, sorry. Try the teletubbies."  
"Burn you!" Min growled at her. She had no choice but to bother Nynaeve. She stood outside room 90, and decided she wouldn't knock, because then Nynaeve probably wouldn't let her in. She was going to march right in and grab a pillow... the door was locked. Blood and ashes.  
"Nynaeve? Nynaeve, can I come in for a second? I need a pillow."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nynaeve and Lan were happily smooching again, when Nynaeve heard the doorknob try to turn. Haha, she thought, we really won't be disturbed. Then a voice came.  
"Nynaeve? Nynaeve, can I come in for a second? I need a pillow." It was Min's voice. Blood and ashes. She momentarily pulled away from Lan to say,  
"Can it wait? I'm kind of...busy...right now..." then she went back to Lan. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Min standing in the Hallway ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Come on, Nynaeve, can you get off Lan for just a second so I can have a pillow???" Min pleaded. She could almost hear Nynaeve blushing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nynaeve was blushing, Min was right. She grumbled and gave Lan one last quick kiss and got up to go to the door, dragging a spare pillow.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Min in the Hallway ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Min heard Nynaeve's footsteps and the lock being un-done. When the door opened, Min was surprised to see Nynaeve's hair loose about her shoulders instead of her long braid. She shoved a pillow into Min's abdomen.  
"Take it," she said, and closed the door again.  
"Thanks Nynaeve!" Min said cheerily, and walked back to her room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Egwene's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Wow," Moiraine said drowsily as she sipped another slug of beer.  
"I know. Go me."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Min came back in with her pillow and settled right down. She was almost asleep when she realized she was cold. As if phsycic Elayne said,  
"Randy-poo, I'm cold."  
"Rfjrkngsk," Rand muttered sleepily.  
"I'm going to get a blanket," Min said.  
"Will you get me one too?" Elayne pleaded.  
"No."  
"Pleeeeeease?"  
"Fine!"  
  
Min walked down the hallway again, and knocked on some random door.  
"Excuse me, can I use a blanket? Two, actually? Hallo?" It didn't open. She tried this three more times then resorted to Egwene again.  
"Egweeeeene! It's me. It's.... Gawyn," Min said, putting on a deep voice.  
"Liar. I know it's you, Min, I can see you through the peep-hole." Blood and ashes.  
"Well can I have two blankets?"  
"No, I only have one. Goodbye."  
"Arrrgh!" Min snarled at the closed door, and sulkily went back to Nynaeve.  
  
"Nynaeve? Sorry to bug you again but I really need a blanket..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nynaeve's absence to Lan by giving Min the pillow made her go back quicker, so soon they were kissing again and her arms snaked around him. They were peaceful for about ten minutes when there was another knock at the door.  
"Nynaeeeve!" Min's voce called.  
"Urg. Min, I already gave you a pillow, can you please leave me alone?"  
"Oh, come on. Just one blanket. It's not like you'll be using it anyway." Nynaeve blushed furiously.  
"How do you know?"  
"I just do. Do you really want me to go into details?"  
"No. I'm not giving you a blanket, go ask Egwene." As Nynaeve talked Lan was kissing her neck and the rest of her face, but Nynaeve thought Min knew. It was like the woman could see through things.  
"Nynaeve, I swear after this I will leave Lan to kiss your face as much as he wants if you give me those blankets." Yes, the woman definately could see through doors.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Min in the Hallway again ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She banged on the door again.  
"Nynaeve, I will stand here all night and bang on this bloody door if you don't open it." She did so. As she knocked and kicked the door, the coins in her pocket jingled together. She was rich! She stifled a cackle. Finally a voice came from inside the room again.  
"FINE! But, Elmindreda, if you bother us again..."  
"Don't call me Elmindreda!" Min shuddered at the name. "I will sic my weasels on you!" The door finally opened and Nynaeve, looking irked and her hair still down, threw a blanket over Min's head.  
"Thanks Nynaeve!" Min said cheerily as the door slammed. Then she remembered about Elayne.  
"Uh, Nynaeve? Actually I need two blankets... Elayne needs one too..." Min heard Nynaeve scream in outrage, and the door flew open. She threw another one at Min.  
"Now, don't both us.. uh, me again!" She slammed the door again. Min didn't care... now she was rich AND had a pillow AND two blankets!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Rand was asleep in his bed, drool dripping out of his mouth, and Elayne was in her bed being cold. Suddenly Min came in and dropped a blanket on her, and jumped into her own bed to sleep. Rand suddenly stirred.  
"Girls, you are so LOUD! Shhhhhh! Shhhhhh!" Then he turned over and slept again.  
"Light is he ever lazy," Min muttered, and fell asleep herself. Elayne drifted off too, and they were all asleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve's Room, Later ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nynaeve and Lan were both asleep, his arms around her. They had gotten their share of kissing done and Nynaeve had drifted off, so now they were both sleeping.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Egwene's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Egwene was out on the couch, a beer in one hand. But Moiraine still stared at the screen, which was now a special viewing of American Pie.  
"Wow..ewwww," she said. 


	4. The Fight, and Dragon Man

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Rand's Room, Next Morning ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Elayne felt very rested the next morning. She woke up and stretched, and finally opened her eyes. She was staring up into Birgitte's deep blue eyes, who looked mad.  
"Birgitte!" she yelped.  
"Elayne Trakand. You left me behind. Well, I am not stupid, you know; I have found you, and you are not leaving me behind anymore. I am your Warder, I do have a purpose." Light, she could be as stubborn as any man sometimes.  
"Alright I'm sorry, but just don't wake up..." Rand rolled over and saw Birgitte, toting her large silver bow, and he shrieked. It was not a very manly sound. Actually, it sounded more like a mouse being squashed than anything else.  
"...Rand," Elayne sighed. Birgitte, who had not noticed him before, drew her bow and nocked an arrow at him. He yelped again.  
"Elayne! Who is this?" He demanded, and when Birgitte lowered her bow, the sudden moevment made him screech again. At the sound Min sat frantically up.  
"I heard a weasel screech! What happened!" Rand blushed.  
"Your weasels are fine, Min. We are simply under attack," he said.  
"Birgitte! How are you! I haven't seen you in ages, dahling!" Min said, though by this time in the books they hadn't met yet. Rand's eyes popped out of his head.  
"Ahhhhh!!!!!" with that he ran outside, and darted down the hall.  
"Whatever," Birgitte muttered.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand, running down the hall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He banged on Egwene's door. She was the only one who could help him. She was from Emond's Field, and only a true Two Riverian could save him from this intruder. For some reason. It sounded right in his mind. The door opened, but what he saw was not what he expected. Moiraine stood in front of him, eyes darkly bagged, eyes bloodshot, hair frizzy, all of skin sagging with tiredness.  
"Light! What did Egwene do to you?" he wondered. Suddenly she was herself again, all cool and composed, her hair suddenly straight and pulled up, her stone straight in her forehead, her face ageless.  
"Rand al'Thor! Get out of my sight before I thump you! You are such a bloody flaming-" Rand closed the door and ran away. Maybe she had eaten Egwene. For all he knew, Egwene could be digesting in Moiraine's short stomach. The thought made him run faster. His last resort was Nynaeve. The door was locked, and he wiggled the doorknob frantically, banging and kicking it. He was afraid he might be caught! Nobody else was in the hallway, and nobody was chasing him, but we will let him think whatever he wants.  
"Nynaeve! Nynaeve quick, open up!" he heard grumbled from within.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nynaeve slowly awoke, and realized that she was draped over Lan. She wasn't tired at all anymore, she realized. She was actually quite comfortable. Suddenly Lan woke too, and as he realized she was awake she kissed him lightly on the cheek.  
"Good morning." As if on cue, the door banged and shook.  
"Argh!!!!! Min!!!!!!!! Get out!!!!! No more pillows!!!!!!!!!!" she shouted.  
"Nynaeve! It's Rand! Please, let me in! I need to come in!"  
"No!" Nynaeve shouted back.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand, frantically trying to think ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Suddenly Rand remembered he could channel. *doh*! He used saidin to unlock the door, and ran inside.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Rand suddenly ran in. He dove behind a chair next to the bed, and hid behind it.  
"Rand al'Thor!" Nynaeve scolded him. "Have you no respect for privacy?!?!?! Get out!"  
"Please don't make me!" he cried, cowering behind the chair.  
"Why are you here?"  
"Um... well, I'm being chased?" he offered.  
"By whom?"  
"Well, I guess this girl, she's blonde, she has a braid, she has a big scary silver bow..."  
"Birgitte! Good, I was wondering where she was." Suddenly it hit Rand. These woman had hired a hit-girl to get rid of him. Forever. So they could be the Dragon Reborn. *gasp*!  
"Your plan will never work, you evil Aes Sedai! Noooo!" Suddenly Rand ran back outside.  
"I won't even ask," Nynaeve decided.  
"Good choice," Lan told her. Nynaeve beamed at him.  
"Well, I am going to go see Birgitte, love... I will be right back." Nynaeve gave him a quick kiss and followed Rand out the door.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve, in the corridor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As Nynaeve walked along the hall, Egwene suddenly ran out of her room, followed closely by Moiraine.  
"Hi Nynaeve!" Egwene giggled. Nynaeve looked at her strangely. Egwene never giggled.  
"I'm hungry," Moiraine said happily.  
"Go eat some sushi!" They both chorused, and started laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. Nynaeve shook her head. Egwene had spent too much time around the Aiel... they certainly had a strange sense of humor.  
"Well, anyway. Whatever." Nynaeve hurried up the hall and let herself into Rand's room.  
"Hi, Elayne. Min. Birgitte." Elayne waved.  
"Hallo, Nynaeve! Good to see you again," Birgitte said. Nynaeve wondered why she wasn't drunk. Birgitte was always drunk.  
"Hallo, Nynaeve. Hey, sorry about bothering you so much last night. I understand you were... busy... with Lan." They all started laughing, except Nynaeve who turned bright red and pulled her braid, and Birgitte who looked clueless.  
"Say what? Lan? Who? I'm confused," she said hopelessly. Elayne and Min proceeded to fill her in on juicy details that- in Nynaeve's opinion- were extremely exaggerated... well, maybe not, but they were certainly not all 100% true. Nynaeve was near the point of exploding with anger when suddenly an ugly little boy walked by the window. Birgitte stopped in mid- sentence to stare.  
"I'll be back, all. Elayne, don't think about leaving. I'll meet you at breakfast," she said, and hopped out the already broken window to hunt down the repulsive boy.  
"Speaking of which, let's go eat now. I'm starving," Elaune said, and they all set out. As they walked down the corridor, Nynaeve suddenly said,  
"Wait... let me go get Lan."  
"We'll just wait outside," Min said, grinning. "I think I'd rather not witness what might happen in there." Nynaeve glared at her and sniffed.  
  
"You have to come with me. Now. I'll prove to you that nothing happened." She proceeded to drag Min inside, and Elayne followed.  
"Lan, I'm going to breakfast with Elayne and Min. Would you like to come?" Nynaeve asked him sweetly.  
"Of course, my heart! I love doing anything with you." Min took that the wrong way, and started laughing. Nynaeve slapped Min, and glared at Lan, who did not understand what was happening.  
"Boy, Nynaeve, you slept late today," Elayne said innocently. "You must have been tired. I wonder why?"  
"Oh, we did some stuff last night," Lan said with good intentions. Min continued to laugh, and it turned into a cackle. Nynaeve blushed and stared hopelessly at Lan.  
"He meant, the whole Minstrel Martin thing, and bandaging my leg, and..."  
"Yes, I meant-"  
"Stop talking, Lan. Please," Nynaeve begged him. She pulled Min out, and shoved her down the stairs. Elayne followed obediently. Lan came behind. They scouted the common-room, and saw Moiraine and Egwene laughing at a small table. They went over, and Min and Elayne sat next to Egwene, and Nynaeve was forced to sit next to Moiraine, much to her horror. Lan put his hands on her waist, and whispered something in her ear. In reality, he said, "Please don't get in a fistfight with her, just be calm," but Min took it the wrong way again and she cackled in Egwene's ear. Nynaeve glared at her and sat down. Egwene glared at her, too, and rubbed her ear.  
"Nynaeve," Moiraine said sourly. "Did you have a good time with Lan last night?" Min's cackling grew louder in Egwene's ear. Lan actually blushed.  
"What under Light is that supposed to mean!?" Nynaeve snapped at her.  
  
"I think you know what she means," Elayne said. Min cackled even louder. Egwene was starting to get annoyed now.  
"It is so not what you think. Nothing happened, you sicko Aes Sed-" Nynaeve started, but as Min's cackling grew to a roar, Egwene suddenly rounded on her and shouted,  
"I am the Amyrlin Seat! Stop cackling in my ear!" she ended with a loud sniff. Min stopped, but then Elayne started giggling and she was even louder. Egwene pulled her hair in frustration.  
"I just can't win here!"  
"Now you know how I feel," Moiraine muttered.  
"Nobody was talking to you, Moiraine," Nynaeve spat.  
"Has anybody seen Rand?" Min wondered aloud.  
"Rand? Where!?" Elayne shouted, suddenly ceasing giggling.  
"You woolheads! It is just Rand! He's not the amazing!" Egwene said angrily. Soon the whole table, except Lan, was arguing at each other. It was a pretty powerful sight.  
"I am too amazing!" Rand's voice suddenly cried. They all turned to look. He was dressed in a superman costume, except there was a big D instead of an S.  
"I'm....Dragonman!!!!!!" Rand said proudly. "I feel pretty...oh so pretty...I feel pretty and witty and," they all went back to screaming at each other. Rand felt un-appreciated, so he skipped off outside. Suddenly Birgitte came in, the ugly little boy having run away, and saw all the women yelling at each other and poor Lan sitting resignedly next to Nynaeve. Egwene has her hands around Min's throat, preventing any cackling, and Moiraine was pulling Nynaeve's hair. Nynaeve was slapping at any part of Moiraine she could hit. Elayne was trying to pry Egwene off Min, but to no avail.  
"Elayne!" Birgitte cried. "Stoppit!" They didn't stop.  
"Lan! Help me, here!" Birgitte called to him, and he obediently got up.  
"Where do we start?" He wondered.  
"Hmmmmm.... let's get Egwene off of Min and Elayne first." Birgitte pried Egwene's hands off, and made her sit still.. Elayne and Min moved down along the bench. Egwene was posotively enraged.  
"Now, I'll get Moiraine, you get Nynaeve," Birgitte instructed. Birgitte ran over and grabbed Moiraine's shoulders, then decided to go with her hands instead, which were flailing and could cause serious damage. She pushed her down and held her against the table so she could not move. Lan was a bit more gentle with Nynaeve. He grabbed her hands and bent them down at her sides, and eased her waist to sit down. He decided to sit in between the two women, just in case. Birgitte let go of Moiraine to rush over to Egwene, who was glaring dangerously at Min. Birgitte took the liberty of sitting between them.  
"Are we good? Light, you are SO pitiful!" Birgitte scolded them all. Suddenly Rand skipped back inside, and bounced around, circling them, singing,  
"Dragonman, Dragonman, if he can't do it no one can! Dragonman, Dragonman..."  
"RANNNNND! SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" Egwene screamed at him, just as Lews Therin wailed,  
"ILLLLLYEEEENNNNAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Rand got the two mixed up, and was utterly confused.  
"Egwene? Since when do you like Ilyena?" She looked at him like she would love nothing more than to pommel him into the ground.  
"Lews? You want me to... to shut up?" A sloitary tear slipped down his cheek. To everyone else, it looked like he was talking to himself. Which he was. Kinda. Moving on. At last Egwene could take it no more, and she flung herself at Rand. Or tried to; Birgitte grabbed her just in time and had to wrestle her down to the table like she had with Moiraine.  
"Breath with me, people. Inhale, exhale." They all breathed, though Nynaeve tried her best to reach over Lan and punch Moiraine in the gut so she lost her breath. But Lan grabbed her wrist and folded them back at her sides, much to her anger.  
"Fine," she muttered. Now that all the anger was out of them, they all decided it would be nice to go and be on a grassy hill.  
"Sounds good! But wait," Egwene said. "We're in Ebou Dar. There are no grassy hills."  
"We'll find one!" Moiraine chimed in, and they al agreed to go looking for one. 


	5. The Grassy Hill in Candy Land

They walked out into the city, and saw nothing but grimy streets and water. But, amazingly enough, they kept walking and suddenly they were in a different place with tons of rolling grassy hills and blue skies and puffy clouds.  
"Wow, that was cool," Birgitte muttered. Soon they dispersed into groups, and just sat and talked. It was not very eventful. Eventually they all grew tired, and were randomly sprawled about the hills. Rand had Elayne and Min each leaning on a shoulder, and Egwene was curled up very comfortably against a puff of grass. Lan was lying down with Nynaeve pressed against him, and Moiraine tried to do the same but Nynaeve slapped her, so she was stationed against a log that appeared out of nowhere. Birgitte was sitting near Elayne, scouting the area like Warders are *supposed* to do. No-one was asleep, but near to it. It was very peaceful when suddenly...  
"Get out! Get out! This is my world! OUT! OUT, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A-" Rand looked hurt.  
"I am not a pathetic excuse!" he muttered, and Min and Elayne agreed.  
"-FOR AN AMYRLIN SEAT!" The voice shrieked.  
"Haha, Rand, it's not always about you!" Egwene laughed. Suddenly Elaida, dressed in her pink catsuit, jumped out of a valley. Her hair was in a ponytail that was seated to the side of her forehead, and it was blazing red. She looked really stupid. Behind her was... Minstrel Martin!  
"Ack!" Nynaeve gasped. "I thought Lan killed you!"  
"He did. But I reincarnated myself as myself." Lan scowled at him.  
"Get out of Candy Land! It is mine!" Elaida shouted.  
"Um, I don't see any candy," Min said.  
"Shut up! King Kandy was harder to kill than I thought, alright? So I came here and re-named it Candy Land. Shhhhhhhhh!"  
"Isn't there a trademark on it or something?" Elayne wondered.  
"SILENCE! GET OUT OF MY WORLD!"  
"No. We're comfy," Moiraine said.  
"Alright then. I will have to call in my secret weapon. Mua ha ha ha ha ha." Min rolled her eyes.  
"You do it all wrong!" she muttered. Egwene twitched at hearing a cackle. Suddenly a person in a green catsuit jumped into the picture. It was...  
"MYRELLE!" Nynaeve screeched in outrage.  
"ILLLLLYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEENNNNA!!!!" Lews Therin suddenly screamed. "ILLYEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I AM SO SORRY! LANEY? LANEY, IT'S ME... LEWS! ILYENAAAAAAA!" Suddenly it hit Rand. Myrelle here was Ilyena! He must go to her!  
"ARRRG YOU FILTHY GREEN AJAH SLUT! I WILL-" Nynaeve was fuming and trying to scramble out of Lan's arms, where he had her in a death grip.  
"Nynaeve! Violence is not the answer!" he was saying. Rand tried to get to her, but Elayne and Min were draped over his shoulders.  
"Ilyena!" he wailed.  
"Bravo, Myrelle! You go girl!" Moiraine was saying, delighted at seeing Nynaeve so miffed. Birgitte just took it all in, wondering. Myrelle suddenly noticed Lan, and sauntered over to him. Nynaeve was beside herself with anger. Moiraine was laughing. Nynaeve got angrier.  
"Arg!!!!!!! Lan, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease let me go!!! I....must....get...her...back!!!!!!" Lan's hands were sore from trying to keep Nynaeve away from Myrelle. He had to practically hug her to restrain her.. at this Moiraine turned green. Suddenly Nynaeve had a plan. She stopped struggling against him, and pretended to be tired.  
"I'm tired." He slowly let go of her and she sat next to him for a second, but now Myrelle was right next to them. She put her hand on Lan's face, and Nynaeve sprang at her.  
"DIE!!!!!!" Nynaeve attacked Myrelle, and got in a few choice kicks and punches before Lan pulled her off again. Myrelle, who was hurt physically, mentally, and emotionally gave Moiraine a high-five and disappeared.  
"NOOOO! ILYEEEEEEENNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Rand cried.  
"NOOOO! ILYEEEEEEENNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Lews Therin cried.  
"RANND! SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!" Egwene screamed.  
"Oh Light. You people. Get over it. Now, the three people who are causing the most damage right now are Myrelle, Rand and Moiraine. Myrelle's already gone, thank the Light, so Rand and Moiraine...be gone!" With that Birgitte channeled them away, even though she can't channel. Actually she didn't do anything at all. Nynaeve made Moriaine disappear painfully and Egwene blew Rand's butt to China with the amount of saidar she used.  
"Now that that's settled," Birgitte said, "Let's go back to the inn and get drunk!" Nynaeve sniffed, but they all filed out of Elaida's world and suddenly were back in the inn. 


	6. Gawyn Strikes Back, plus Cameo of Charli...

Egwene had calmed considerably down, and was now fairly relaxed. At least, she was. As everyone played shot games and laughed and talked, Egwene had the feeling that something bad was going to happen. Something horrible. Something disgusting. Something so repulsively unbelievably utterly horrifying that the Dark One himself would be appalled. Suddenly the door burst open and Gawyn strode in, looking very sure of himself. Her suspicions were correct. Before she could slip away to her room without being noticed, he spotted her. Those big eyes full of love were about enough to make her sick up.  
"Egwene!" he cried, and came over to her, taking her arm. She snatched it away and rubbed it, glaring at him.  
"What do you want?"  
"I feel... sickness, through the bond. What is wrong, my love?"  
"Ack! Stoppit!"  
"But, I thought you bonded me as your Warder, because you loved me. That's what you said."  
"I lied." Yes, quick and easy was the best way to go. "I only bonded you so you would leave me alone and stop following me around!" Gawyn looked hurt.  
"I knew it. Your heart lies with another. Who is he? WHO??" he demanded dramatically.  
"Um."  
"It's me!" cried a random voice. They both turned. A man in a neat shirt and tie with tabasco sauce bottles on it was standing not ten feet away. He was going bald, and had slightly blonde hair. He wore a dark batman cape that said M on it. A book that said The Middle Ages was in his hands. He looked a lot like Egwene's former 8th grade history teacher, Mr. Middleton. Egwene gasped in horror.  
"No it's not!" she cried, appalled. "Yuck!"  
"No, me!" cried another. This man was very tall and bald, with grey hair. His nose was huge. He looked like Egwene's english teacher, Mr. Gillies.  
"I think not," she said firmly.  
"No! ME!" A woman stood next to the men. She had baggy genie pants up above her bellybutton and a fish belt. She could have been a twin to Egwene's math teacher, the horrible, cannibalistic MS. G!!!!!  
"Run away!!!!!!!!!" she cried, and ran away. Gawyn followed her.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3 Teachers in inn ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Elaida pulled of her mask of an ugly middle ages balding history teacher.  
"Haha, that was fun." She peeled off her costume of a bat-cloak, revealing her classic pink catsuit. Her red hair, in a ponytail, still was put up near the front of her head to one side.  
"Sure was," said Myrelle as she stripped her costume of an english teacher off and got off a pair of stilts. She was wearing her green catsuit underneath.  
"Did I do good, Mistress?" the math teacher panted expectantly.  
"Yes, Martin, you did fine," Elaida said as the teacher morphed into Minstrel Martin. The three cackled evilly and walked away out the door and into the snowy land of Mongolia.  
Min and Elayne noticed the whole thing, and followed the three evil peoples. Once they opened the door, they, too, were transported into Mongolia.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Egwene and Gawyn in a carriage ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Egwene randomly got into a carriage and ordered the driver to go fast. Suddenly Gawyn jumped on too.  
"Not you," Egwene sighed.  
"Hey hey, I think I deserve to talk to you after jumping onto a moving carriage," Gawyn said.  
"Fine. What do you want?" Egwene prepared herself for a whole mushy speech.  
"Lookit this!!!" he squealed, and pulled back his jacket to reveal his bare arm and shirt underneath. On his shirt was a sticker that said, "OFFICIAL STONE DAWG" and on his arm was a tattoo of a black dog that was saying, "Woof!"  
"Wow, I'm... speechless," Egwene said, not caring at all.  
"I know! I went to the Aiel and became a stone dog. Cool huh?"  
"Sure. You just keep telling yourself that." Gawyn didn't get it, so he smiled anyway. It seemed to run in the family.  
"Anything else?"  
"Uh... well, I was kind of wondering why you don't love me, but not really no."  
"Good. Now leave." He didn't move.  
"Get up get out get up get out get up get out!" Egwene shouted, and simply pushed him out onto the street when he didn't move.  
"That was easy!" she thought to herself.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mongolia ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Elaida and Martin and Myrelle were nowhere in sight, and Min and Elayne were cold, so they decided to go into a random bar thing that appeared out of nowhere. Deranged mongols littered the place. They sat down at a table, and noticed some guys bringing a box in though a trapdoor. A drinking game was going on behind them, and a woman in red was winning. Min wanted to join in but Elayne was too scared to stay at a table by herself. Suddenly the doors opened and a girl in a ridiculous white fluffy outfit came in. She was holding a book that said Go! Mongolia. She pushed back her hood and revealed two blonde pigtails.  
"This is hustle, y'all!" she said, and all the mongols stopped short. Then they shouted. Elayne and Min were speechless.  
"She's so... shiny," Min said. The girl giggled and looked at a mechanical bull. Min had just realized the thing. She could not resist. Min ran over to the bull and it automatically started up, and Min screamed in delight. The blonde girl looked cluelessly at her.  
"What? Wheeee!" Min said. Suddenly a man wearing a shirt that said DIRECTOR came over to her.  
"Do we know you? Did Richard hire you as an extra? Why wouldn't he tell me?" Min just stared.  
"No, I'm riding a bull." Cameramen followed the "DIRECTOR" man around.  
"Well, we're filming a movie here! I'm afraid you'll have to get off..." Min said no. She was promptly dragged off the bull by a cameraman and brought back to Elayne.  
"Take two! Cameron, go back outside. Drew, put your hat back on. Come on, people, we have a movie to make." Suddenly a head popped out of the trapdoor. The girl had long black hair.  
"What's happening?" she asked.  
"Re-take, Lucy," the girl called Drew told her.  
"Yeah, some girl got on my bull," the girl called Cameron said confusedly.  
"Oh, do I have to get back in the box?" 'Lucy" whined.  
"Yep." She groaned and disappeared down into the ground, and then she and the two men who had carried the box came back up and went out the door with 'Cameron'.  
"Alright, take two... now!" The Director said, and the whole thing happened again.  
"De ja vu," Min muttered, and she and Elayne politely left.  
"Weird," Elayne said as they walked back into their world, and into the inn. Fortunately they were brainwashed as they passed back into Ebou Dar so no one ever found out. 


	7. Notes Through Holes In the Wall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Inn ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Birgitte was on the table, yelling down at Moiraine, who was draped along the table, her face in her hands. A half empty shot glass was near her, and at least 30 empty shot glasses each were put on the ground from shots already drunk.  
"Hahaha! You are WEAK! HAHAHA!" Birgitte said, and Moiraine sobbed. Just to prove it Birgitte downed another shot and began singing "You Are My Sunshine" at the top of her lungs, very off key.  
"How many shots, Birgitte?" Min asked upon returning to her seat.  
"I had 37, and Moiraine had 35 and a half." Birgitte grinned drunkenly. At this Moiraine glared at her and downed the rest of her glass, and another two. Birgitte gasped, and drank another. Moiraine had three more. Birgitte had four more. Moiraine drank another. So did Birgitte. It was getting out of control.  
"Okay, okay, you fools, give it up! Now your even, just QUIT WHILE YOUR AHEAD!" Nynaeve scolded them. They both agreed sulkily.  
The party continued for a while, until the innkeeper came up to Moiraine and tapped her politely on the shoulder.  
"Erm, Ma'am, I regret to say that we will have to move your rooms. You and Mistress al'Vere will be moved to 20002. Mistress al'Vere and Master Lan will be moved to 20004. Master al'Thor and co. will be moved to 20006."  
"That is, like, on the other side of the universe," Moiraine said.  
"Yes, I realize, but we have to. Look on the bright side, all your rooms are on the same side of the corridor. So you can pass notes through the wall!" He giggled, but everyone else thought he might possibly be gay. Rand was excited though.  
"Yay! Let's go," he said, and ran off. Everyone else followed for the sake of moving their things. Moiraine moved Egwene's for her, though in reality Egwene had turned herself invisible and laughed as Moiraine struggled with a mound of papers marked "Amyrlin Only." Once they were all moved, Egwene re-visiblized herself and retired to her new room. Sadly it had no beer or tv in it, but she could deal. She took the bed next to the wall which Nynaeve was on the other side of, and Moiraine took the one next to the other wall. She noticed there actually was a hole through which she could pass notes.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Yessssssssssssssssssss! Hey, where's the hole?" Rand was disappointed when there was no hole.  
"Randy poo, forget about the hole." Elayne and Min had twin beds that were pulled as close to Rand's as possible. Rand had pushed his bed against the wall, though, to pass notes... but there was no hole! It was an outrage. So he channeled a hole. He heard Nynaeve scream on the other side of the wall. Bwa ha ha ha ha. He scribbled a note and pushed it through.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve and Lan's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nynaeve and Lan's beds were twin beds, too, on opposite sides of the wall. Nynaeve had tried to push them together, but Moiraine (burn her) had channeled them to the floor so they would not budge. Oh well. Lan's bed was on the wall closest to Rand, and Nynaeve was on the other side of Egwene's wall. Nynaeve went over to Lan's bed and sat on it with him.  
"Lan..." He silenced her by kissing her. Suddenly something poked into her back. She whipped around and saw... a note! She opened it and it read: Hey! Hahaha, notes! Cool beans! Reply!  
"RANNNNND!" Nynaeve screamed at him. She scribbled something and shoved it through, and went back to Lan.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Min and Elayne had given up on any hopes of romance, and were playing I Spy again. Rand sat waiting with baited breath for a note. Suddenly one came through. It said: Rand al'Thor, you horrible bloody flaming man! DON'T you dare send another note through, or I will come in there and pommel your bloody flaming arse! ~Nynaeve"Rand sighed. Not the reply he had wanted. Too bad! Mua ha ha ha ha, he must annoy her now. It was his duty. He scribbled something and shoved it through again.  
A few minutes later, the door banged open, and Rand jumped back in horror, afraid it was Nynaeve. It wasn't. Birgitte stormed madly in and proceeded to yell.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve and Lan's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nynaeve was in an odd position on the tiny cot-like bed, lips locked with Lan. Suddenly something else poked into her back, and she whipped angrily around again.  
"Ack! What does it say?!?" she snapped. It said: Haha! :P What are you doing, Nynaeve? Ha, ha! Don't pommel my arse or I will balefire you! Nynaeve glared at it, and scribbled: If you balefire me Lan will cut you up into little pieces and feed you to Moiraine and was about to stick it through when she heard screaming on the other side of the wall.  
"Elayne! Where am I to sleep?" Came Birgitte's voice.  
"Dunno, but not here," Rand said.  
"RAND AL'THOR, I DEMAND YOU GET OUT NOW!" Birgitte screamed at him.  
"What? No! I am the Dragon Reborn! Why should you be here?"  
"Because I am Elayne's Warder! Get out! I have nothing against shooting the Dragon Reborn, you should know!" she said, and Nynaeve heard her nock her bow. Rand squealed.  
"Alright! Alright!" he said. Nynaeve smiled. No more notes! But first she shoved hers through so he would read it. That problem solved, she continued to smooch Lan.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Egwene and Moiraine (and Rand)'s Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Moiraine was doing yoga on the floor and chanting, "The Wheel Weaves as the Wheel wills!", and Egwene was trying to see through the hole in the wall. She couldn't that well, but she could tell Nynaeve was not on her bed. Suddenly the door opened and Rand came in holding a blanket and pillow, and looking utterly sad. He set up his pillow and blanket on the floor and harrumphed.  
"I won't ask," Egwene declared and proceeded to stare through the wall. The door opened and Birgitte came in, snatching Rand's blanket and pillow and glaring at him. Then she left and Rand whimpered.  
"Hey, no fair! You have a peephole!" Rand said jealously.  
"Yup!" Rand scribbled another note and put it through. It had said: Nynaeve- I can still write notes through the other wall! Tee hee hee. He heard her scramble over to the other wall, and heard her growl in outrage.  
"RAND!" She screamed at the wall. "STOP WRITING ME NOTES!"  
"NO!"  
"YES!"  
"NO!"  
"YES!"  
"NO!" Suddenly the wall opened, to reveal Nynaeve with a glow of saidar around her. She leaped through the massive hole in the wall and attacked Rand. Egwene doubled over laughing.  
"Fine! Fine! Just go back to the Pit of Doom!" Rand screamed. Nynaeve jumped back into her own room and closed up the wall, all the way. Rand just channeled another peephole.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Birgitte's New Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The girls were now in their own beds, gossiping. Birgitte had been put near the wall.  
"I wonder what Egwene's doing," she said. Elayne shrugged.  
"Too lazy to go find out," Min said.  
"I know!" Birgitte leaned in near the peephole and said,  
"Nynaeve? Nynaeve, can you hear me? Can you pass this to Egwene?"  
"NO!" Nynaeve screeched.  
"Please? Please? I won't ask you again."  
"ARG! FINE! ONLY ONCE!" she said, and snatched the note out of Birgitte's hand.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Egwene, Rand, and Moiraine ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A note suddenly was pushed through into Egwene's face.  
"Take it. It's from Birgitte," Nynaeve hissed. "Don't reply." Egwene grinned and read it. It cointained some juicy gossip.  
"Lemme see!" Rand whined.  
"No."  
"Moiraine!! Make her let me see it! She won't let me!"  
"The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve and Lan's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nynaeve decided to move her and Lan over to her bed, not that it was like that or anything but its uncomfortable to kiss on the floor, because she was afraid Birgitte would force more notes upon her. Lan willingly obliged. They sat kissing for a time, Nynaeve was not sure how long, when suddenly a note came in from both ends.  
"Nynaeve?" came a voice from both walls.  
"ACKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is worse than Moghedien!" Nynaeve sobbed. "JUST BLOODY GO INTO HER ROOM IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO HER!" she yelled at the opposite wall. "EGWENE! IF YOU PUT ONE MORE NOTE THROUGH THIS WALL I WILL SWITCH YOU!"  
"You can't switch me, I am the Amyrlin Seat," came Egwene's indignant voice. Nynaeve decided to ignore all the notes. Forever. She didn't have to deliver them....  
  
Some Time Later.... Nynaeve was in bliss with Lan, but, the piles of notes on both beds were getting intense. She was afraid she might drown in paper if this kept up. There was one thing left to do. She gathered all of Egwene's notes into her arms, and walked down the hall to Elayne's room. As soon as the door opened she threw the notes at her. Then she took all Birgitte's notes and did the same to Egwene. There. That should stop them, Nynaeve thought happily. For ten minutes nothing happened. When Nynaeve thought it was safe, she slowly began to kiss Lan again. Just as she had put her lips on his their door opened and Moiraine came in, sweating happily.  
"Hi, Nynaeve! Just thought I'd stop by!" she said.  
"Why are you sweating?" Nynaeve asked, after she had removed her lips from Lan.  
"Yoga. It's good for body, spirit and mind!" Moiraine said cheerily. Lan looked frightened. Nynaeve looked irked beyond all imagining.  
"Well, can you stop by later? Like, tomorrow?" Nynaeve asked through gritted teeth.  
"Nah!"  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Nynaeve screamed in frustration, pinching herself and waiting to wake up. She didn't.  
"No.... Egwene!" Nynaeve wailed through the wall.  
"Nynaeve?" Egwene's voice asked.  
"Moiraine! She's invading! Ack!"  
"I'll send Rand right over."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Egwene's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Rand!"  
"I didn't do it!"  
"Go get Moiraine out of Nynaeve's room."  
"Yes Amyrlin."  
"Good beast."  
Rand bounced out the door and into Nynaeve's room.  
"Moiraine, I accidently killed a few people by channeling and I think the Forsaken are coming."  
"AH!!!!!! NO!!!!! RUN AWAY!!!! LANFEAR!!!!!!" Moiraine cried. On cue, Lanfear suddenly appeared. Rand was is shock.. it had been a lie. Nynaeve and Lan sat dazed.  
"Lewy-poo!" Lanfear cooed, and threw herself at Rand.  
"DIE BEE-OTCH!" Moiraine battle-called, and threw herself at Lanfear.  
"RUN AWAY!" Rand squealched, and ran. The three tumbled out the door and Nynaeve closed it with a flow of air.  
"Well that was... different," said Lan. 


	8. Elaida Returns With Nail Polish

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back in Egwene's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Egwene heard it all through the wall. Haha. When she turned back to observe the rest of her room, though, she was face to face with...Elaida!  
"Ack! Get out of my room!"  
"No. I have a mission."  
"And what is that?"  
"...To paint your nails!" Elaida giggled.  
"Now way. Out."  
"Pleeeeeeease can I paint your nails? Purty please? With sugar and a cherry on top?"  
"I don't like cherries."  
"Okay, with strawbarries on top."  
"Yuck!"  
"Um, bananas?"  
"Come ON, gross!"  
  
An Hour Later  
  
"...kiwis?" Elaida asked desperately.  
"NO!"  
"Do you like any flaming kind of fruit????"  
"Advocados."  
"That's not a fruit!!"  
"So? Don't take that tone with me! I am the Amyrlin!"  
"So? I am the ex-Amyrlin!"  
"So!?"  
"Well, it doesn't matter. Purty please with sugar and advocados on top?"  
"Who says I liked sugar?"  
"Oh come on! Work with me here!"  
"Fine. Fine!"  
"Yessssssssss! What color?"  
"Blue."  
"Oh, I don't have blue. I have Coral, Barbie, Salmon, Fushcia, and Pink. I luuuuuurve pink!" Egwene pounded her head on the bed.  
  
The Next Morning....  
  
When Egwene woke up the next morning, she rubbed her eyes. Then she noticed the pink nails.  
"Arg," she muttered. She had an itch on her foot, but when she bent down to scratch it, she noticed... pink toenails!  
"Arg! Elaida! We said only fingers!!" Elaida, who was still in Egwene's room for some reason, cackled.  
"Bwa ha ha ha. But you fell asleep, so I got bored."  
"Whatever, you nutcase!" Egwene decided to seek refuge in Nynaeve's room. As she went out into the hall, she saw Rand and Lanfear and Moiraine all staring at each other, no doubt channeling.  
"Do I want to know?"  
"SHHHHH! I'm about to balefire Lanfear!" Moiraine hissed.  
"Leaving now," Lanfear said, and raced out a random door that opened. Coincidental. Egwene decided to leave them alone with that and knocked on Nynaeve's door. Nobody answered.  
"Nynaeve! Open it!" Still, no answer. She went in anyway. Nynaeve and Lan had somehow both managed to sleep on Nynaeve's bed. She was pressed tightly against his chest to prevent falling off onto the floor. Egwene laughed, but it wasn't quiet enough. Nynaeve apparently had heard, and lifted her head up sleepily. Her eyes opened all the way, and she saw Egwene.  
"Egwene! What are you doing here? How long have you been there?"  
"Why does it matter?" Egwene asked suspiciously.  
"It.. doesn't, just wondering!"  
"Yeah right." Nynaeve sat up to argue, when suddenly Egwene noticed the wall bhind her slowly opening up. Elaida was surrounded by a glow of saidar, and she was grinning evilly.  
"Nynaeve! Watch out!" Egwene shouted, too late.  
"Wha-" Elaida grabbed Nynaeve and pulled her back, then closed up the wall.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Egwene's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nynaeve was not sure what happened, but suddenly she was lying upside down on Egwene's bed. Elaida sat on the floor next to her, grinning evilly.  
"Yes?" Nynaeve asked her. "Nice to see you too."  
"You have been chosen as my next victim."  
"Because..."  
"Just because."  
"What do you want to do?"  
"....paint your nails! Yay!"  
"I think not."  
"YES!" Elaida whined. "Purty please? With sugar and charries on top?"  
"I don't like cherries!"  
"ACK! Not this again! Okay, with advocados on top?"  
"No way! Gross! Only Egwene likes advocados."  
"Oh Light! Just give up! Please?"  
"Uh, no." Elaida pondered this for a minute, then got a great idea.  
"Purty please with sugar and Lan on top?" This Nynaeve could not resist.  
"Fine." Elaida giggled happily and proceeded to give Nynaeve the color choices, to which she sniffed at.  
"It's all the same color, Elaida."  
"NO, it's NOT!"  
"Fine. You pick one."  
When Elaida was done, she put Nynaeve back through the wall where she ended up on Lan's lap, and then went up the hall to get another victim.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Elayne, Birgitte and Min's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Elaida suddenly burst in and grabbed them all in flows of air.  
"Oh, no," Min droned sarcastically.  
"The Light help us," Birgitte echoed.  
"What's happening?" Elayne asked. Elaida took them all back to Egwene's room. Dun dun dun.......... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand and Moiraine in the Hallway ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"This is getting old," Rand said.  
"Yeah, yeah it is."  
"I think I'm gonna go check on my gals. And Birgitte."  
"Player. I'm gonna go terrorize Nynaeve, I think."  
"Cool beans. See ya latah." They went their separate ways.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand's old Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
When Rand entered the room cautiously, no one was there. There was a note on the bed that said: Bwa ha ha ha ha, I have your gfs. And Birgitte. They are captive forever in Egwene's room. Damn, I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Oh well. Rand set off for Egwene's room. When he opened the door, he was grabbed by a mysterious catsuited arm and pulled into his death...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve and Lan's Room ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nynaeve did not bother to get off Lan's lap, and offered Egwene a seat on the other bed.  
"So0o0o0o0o0o0o0o.... any paticular reason you woke me up?" Nynaeve asked her.  
"Nope!"  
"Well that was un thoughtful of you."  
"Yup!"  
"GASP, what is that on your nails???" Nynaeve asked in horror.  
"Pink nail polish. You have the same thing."  
"Oh yeah, I forgot," Nynaeve said. Feeling stupid she added, "Lan crowds everything else out of my head," and kissed him on the cheek. He felt special, even if it was a lie. Egwene rolled her eyes.  
"Alright alright alright, don't need to know about your personal life." Nynaeve blushed.  
"So, uh, I'm still really tired and I want to go back to sleep."  
"Oh well."  
"Egwene, do you really have anything to say?"  
"I-" Suddenly Moiraine burst in, again.  
"I'm back!" she said.  
"Run away," said Nynaeve. "WHY do you keep barging into our room!?"  
"To bug you, of course."  
"How very thoughtful."  
"I know!" Moiraine looked pleased with herself.  
"That was sarcastic."  
"I know."  
"You're really miffing me right now."  
"Oh, I know."  
"Your plan is working, then."  
"I know!"  
"You're just saying that to annoy me."  
"I know."  
"I knew it."  
"I know."  
"Moiraine is a stupid blue ajah shorty who needs a life."  
"I kn- heyyyy, that's not nice." Egwene was bored here, and went back into her room, hoping Elaida was gone. She was not prepared at all for what she saw.  
Min, Elayne and Birgitte sat on her bed with pink toenails and fingernails drying, and Elaida was working on Rand's left foot, his hands already done.  
"What in the Pit of Doom happened here?"  
"It's a party!" Elaida screamed in glee.  
"Oh.. I, should have known." Egwene slowly closed the door again. The story was getting boring, so suddenly Barney appeared and sneaked up behind Egwene and grabbed her. He cackled and then ran back into her room, and grabbed Elayne. Then he went into Nynaeve's room and snatched Nynaeve and Moiraine, and then disappeared into a massive cavern in the ground that appeared, laughing evilly.  
  
Will Barney murder all of those people? Will Elaida ever give up on painting people's nails? Will you review? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I will give you cookies. :D 


	9. Super Mario Land: Barney Has Appeared

The story was getting boring, so suddenly Barney appeared and sneaked up behind Egwene and grabbed her. He cackled and then ran back into her room, and grabbed Elayne. Then he went into Nynaeve's room and snatched Nynaeve and Moiraine, and then disappeared into a massive cavern in the ground that appeared, laughing evilly.  
"Nynaeve!" Lan called after them. Birgitte, Min and Elaida and Rand appeared in the doorway.  
"Did Barney come by here with Elayne?" Min asked.  
"He took Moiraine, Nynaeve, Egwene and Elayne into that cavern," Lan reported, and pointed to the hole in the ground that was slowly closing up.  
"We have to save them!" Birgitte cried, and jumped down into the hole. Lan went after her, and soon Elaida shrugged and followed with Rand and Min at her heels. The hole was rocky, and they were all banged around as they dropped. Soon enough, though, they fell on a grassy plain. Turtles with blue and red and yellow shells plodded along, and there were random square hills everywhere. They were in...  
"Super Mario land!" Rand piped up. "Cool beans!"  
"How does this game work?" Birgitte asked.  
"You have to save Princess Peach. But in this case there are four Princess Peaches."  
"I'll save Elayne!" Birgitte exclaimed.  
"No, I will!" Rand said. Birgitte fingered her bow while glaring at him, and he backed off.  
"Okay. I will save Egwene, then!"  
"I will save Nynaeve," Lan offered.  
"Elaida, you and Min go find Moiraine," Rand ordered, and bounced off to find Egwene. Min grumbled. Of course she got stuck with the nutcase.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Barney's Captives ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Bwa ha ha ha ha," Barney cackled. "Bwah, bwua, BWA HA hahahah heehee ha."  
"So, where are you taking us exactly?" Nynaeve asked from where she was draped over Barney's broad left shoulder with Egwene.  
"Bwa ha ha ha."  
"I am the Daughter Heir of Andor!" Elayne shouted from the right shoulder, next to Moiraine.  
"BWUA! BWA BWA BWA BWA BWA HAHAHHAHAHAH *cackle* HAHA!" They came to the top of a tall, dark cliff. There were two chairs on the very top. Barney dumped Nynaeve and Egwene into them and wouldn't leave until they put on peach-colored veils and a sticker that said "HELLO MY NAME IS Princess Peach." Then he ran off, bwa ha ha-ing.  
"Well. This is nothing compared to the Amyrlin Seat, but its not that uncomfortable," Egwene commented.  
"Yeah... so do you think they are coming to rescue us yet?" Nynaeve asked her.  
"Maybe. I hope they bring food. I'm starving."  
"Me too. I want French Fries. From Burger King only."  
"Yeah! And they have the best apple pies."  
"And root beer."  
"Yeah! Oh, I hope they bring root beer."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moiraine and Elayne ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Moiraine and Elayne had been dropped in a little shack in a valley. They had to wear the veils too. Every now and again a green turtle with wings bounced by.  
"Wow, cool," Elayne said.  
"I hope they come for us soon," Moirain said, miffed.  
"They will. My Randy-poo will be here any minute," Elayne sighed. Moiraine could not conceal a snort.  
"Randy-poo?" she choked.  
"Yeah! Ya have a problem with it, shorty?"  
"Who are you calling short?"  
"You!"  
"Yeah? Well you're... snobby!" Elayne sniffed and stuck her nose in the air.  
"I am not snobby."  
"That's snobby."  
"No!"  
"Whatever."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lan and Rand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Somehow Lan and Rand knew that Egwene and Nynaeve were together, so they went searching together. Yellow blocks hovered in midair, and Rand jumped up and hit them with his head. A blinging noise would result, and sometimes a giant mushroom would come off, though it went right through him. Lan just rolled his eyes.  
"Are you done, sheepherder?"  
"Nup! TeeheeheeheeheeheehEeEeEeHeEehEeEe." Suddenly though, when Rand hit one, a green dinosaur looking animal hopped down and looked expectantly at him.  
"A yoshi!" He exclaimed. He got on and rode it, whooping like a cowboy. Lan was embarrassed at being associated with him. Rand accidently hit another block when he was whooping, and a blue yoshi appeared.  
"Lan! Get on!" he shouted, and hopped away. Lan reluctantly got on and followed him. Suddenly, a turtle appeared. Rand squealed and ran behind Lan. Lan's yoshi ate it, and suddenly it had wings.  
"Hey! No fair!" Rand said sulkily. Lan's yoshi rose into the air, and he flew far above Rand. As he scouted the area, he noticed a tall purple- ish mountain not too far away. On top he just made out two chairs, with two women in it. One had a braid, and one had a colorful stole around her shoulders.  
"Rand!" he called down. "To that mountain!" He proceeded in that direction, but suddenly his yoshi swallowed and fell back down.  
"Blood and ashes. Now we have to climb that moutain."  
"Beans." The pair set of towards the mountain on their yoshis.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Elaida and Min ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Who are we looking for?"Elaida asked for the 100th time.  
"Moiraine."  
"Oh." Silence.  
"Where is she?"  
"We don't know, Elaida, that's why we're looking for her!"  
"Oh." Silence.  
"Why are we looking for her?"  
"WE JUST ARE."  
"Oh." They walked on for a while more, until suddenly Min saw two yellow blocks in the air. Curious.  
"Elaida, go hit those things," Min ordered. Elaida shrugged, and did. One was a yellow yoshi and one was a mushroom. Min got on the yoshi and they kept going.  
"How come I don't get one?" Elaida asked.  
"You just don't." All of a sudden the ground ended, and yawned into a deep, deep, deep valley. At the bottom was a dot. It looked like a house, kind of. But they were too far away to tell.  
"Let's go down there," Min said.  
"Rightio!" Elaida said happily. They set off.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Birgitte ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Birgitte immediately hit a block and got on a yoshi. It was blue, so she kept eating turtles and flying. She had tons of points by now. Thank the Light she had been such a Nintendo freak as a kid.  
"Hmmmm.... let's see." She too appeared at the edge of a massive valley. At the bottom was a dot. It looked like a house.  
"Here we go!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Barney ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Barney sat in his lair, watching all of this happen. Bwa ha ha ha. But wait. The blonde girl, the cat girl, and the breeches girl were coming near to two of his captives. This was not the plan .Only one thing to do... plan B. He pressed a few buttons and waited as thousands of turtle warriors loaded to go into battle whenever he pressed [enter].  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve and Egwene ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
They found some cards under the chairs, and now they were playing spit. Suddenly Egwene said,  
"Actually, I want a milkshake. Not rootbeer."  
"Hmm, you're right. A chocolate milkshake."  
"I want strawberry. Strawberry is quality."  
"Alright. This is getting boring, though... wanna play Go Fish?" Nynaeve asked her. Egwene shuddered.  
"Anything having to do with fish reminds me of Siuan. How about Go Swordfight?"  
"Okay!" They dealt the cards.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moiraine and Elayne ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You know, we probably could just leave."  
"You're right, the doors are unlocked and there are no gaurds," Elayne reasoned.  
"But that wouldn't be fun."  
"Yeah. Let's stay captive a few more minutes."  
"Okay."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lan and Rand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lan and Rand were about halfway up the mountain, and their yoshis were panting. They stopped to rest, when suddenly they heard a roar from deep inside the mountain.  
"What was that?" Rand asked.  
"I don't know." Suddenly a massive turtle came out of a cave not to far off. Rand cowered. A squeak came from either him or his yoshi- it was hard to tell. Lan boldly stepped up the turtle, and his yoshi stuck out its tongue and gobbled it up. It smacked its lips. Suddenly little wings sprouted, and it soared up.  
"Lan! Wait!" Rand cried, but Lan could not stop his yoshi. It had a mission.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve and Egwene ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Give me yourrrr... fives," Egwene said.  
"Go swordfight."  
"Arg."  
"Okay, do you have any, um, sixes?" Nynaeve asked.  
"Go swordfight!" Nynaeve groaned. Suddenly they heard a sound like a helicopter hovering. They both looked in front of them and saw the head of a giant blue yoshi.  
"Whoa." Suddenly Lan cam into view on top of the yoshi.  
"Lan!" cried Nynaeve proudly. Egwene was speechless.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
All of a suddenly two turtles and a yoshi came out of nowhere. Both yoshis ate a turtle, and Rand flew his up after Lan, the other one trailing behind.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Top of the Mt ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Suddenly Rand came up behind Lan with a spare yoshi.  
"My darling Egwene," he said, bowing after he got off the yoshi. "May I save you?"  
"I'm not your darling, but I'll take the yoshi." Egwene got on and flew a bit away, hovering. Rand did the same. Lan got on his and Nynaeve got on behind him, her arms wrapped around his stomach in a death grip. Heights were almost as bad as sea-sickness. All three yoshis flew off. They did not no where they were going. But hey.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Elaida and Min ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"He was a sk8r boi, she said see ya later boi, he wasn't good enough for her..." Elaida sang. Min looked at her strangely.  
"That's a dumb song. I hate it. Where did you hear it?"  
"... I don't know. It's by some girl named Arr- vill Lah- vigg-nah."  
"Right. Change songs."  
"...shorty, its ya birthday. We gonna party like its ya birthday. We gonna sip bacardi likes its ya birthday. And you know we don' gave a **** cuz its ya birthday!"  
"ELAIDA! STOPPIT WITH THE RANDOM SONGS THAT NO ONE'S HEARD OF YET!" Min shrieked.  
"Arg. Fine then. What about movies?"  
"What's a movie?"  
"Was it the Chad? No, the Chad was-"  
"ELAIDA!" 


	10. Mat and Perrin make an appearance as Jes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moiraine and Elayne ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Alright, that's enough waiting. Let's escape," Moiraine offered.  
"Okay. Sounds good." All Of a sudden they heard a roar echo through the valley. It sounded like "Elaida!!!!!!"  
"Hmmmm..." Elayne peered out the window and saw Min and Elaida wandering towards them.  
"Hurray!" Moiraine and Elayne rushed out to greet them. Min looked worn out. Elaida looked like she had just consumed 5 red bulls.  
"Greetings, Elmindreda. Elaida Sedai."  
  
"Hi!Ohmigosh!MinohmigoshweneedtogofindRandohmigoshicantbelieveyoufoundusihop enynaeveandegweneareokaybutLanandRandarefindingthemohmigoshwheresBirgittehow arewegoingtogetoutofthiscanyonthingyidontwanttowalkupitimetgetmydressdirtyoh migosh!" Min blinked. Suddenly they heard trumpets in the backround. Birgitte came racing up to them on a yoshi very heroic like.  
"I've come to save you!"  
"We've been saved already."  
"Oh. Well then I will get you yoshis!" Birgitte ran off and found a bunch of turtles. She preformed some uber cool nintendo-freak moves and the turtles turned into yoshis. Birgitte herded them over.  
"Yeeha! Get on!" she instructed. Moiraine chose a blue one, Elayne a green one, Elaida a red one, and Min just got on a yellow one because it was leftover and she didn't have an ajah. Then Birgitte led them on to find more turtles, and upon finding them their yoshis ate them and then they flew out of the valley canyon thing to find Lan, Rand, Nynaeve and Egwene.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lan, Nynaeve, Rand, and Egwene ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As the three yoshis flew over the green nintendo land, a few specks could be seen below. Could it be...?  
"Let's go down there," Lan told Rand and Egwene, and both followed him down. The specks were indeed the other group's yoshis, and finally they were all united.  
"Now, how do we get out of here?" Elayne asked.  
"Easy. I will just manipulate some innocent person to open some cyber- time warp thing and let us out."  
"I KNEW IT! YOU'RE EVIL!" Nynaeve shrieked.  
"Breathe, Nynaeve. Say it with me.. Inhale, exhale," Birgitte told her. This did not really help, but Nynaeve shut up anyway and resorted to leaning on Lan again. They all sat thinking for a bit when suddenly they heard voices in the distance.  
"DUDE!"  
"DUDE!"  
"DUDE!" All of them peered to see who these newcomers were. Suddenly around the corner came... Mat and Perrin! Both had their shirts off and both had tatoos across their backs. Mat's said "DUDE" and Perrin's said "SWEET".  
"DUDE, what's mine say?" Perrin asked.  
"SWEET, what's mine say?"  
"DUDE!!! What's mine SAY?"  
"SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"DUDE!!!!! I KNOW IT'S SWEET! WHAT'S IT SAY?!?"  
"SWEET! WHAT DOES MINE SAY?!?!?"  
"DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!"  
"Yours says dude, yours says sweet, you woolheads!" Min told them.  
"Oh. I knew that."  
"Now, what is that brown stuff all over your faces and necks?" Egwene demanded.  
"Life time supply of pudding," Mat said proudly. Suddenly Tuon and Faile came around the corner, looking a lot alike. Tuon had gotten surgery on her nose to make it bigger, and Faile had shaved her head.  
"The twins!" Mat and Perrin chorused.  
"You are the worst boyfriends ever!" Both women said angrily. "You trashed our house yesterday! AND you forgot our anniversary! Too bad, we had special treats for you. Sniff." With that they walked away. Mat and Perrin looked crestfallen.  
"Special treats?"  
"ARG! YOU WOOLHEADS!" Moiraine suddenly burst out.  
"Well, we're going to go find something to get the twins for our anniversary, so we can get our special treats," Mat announced.  
"I'll just go get my horse." There was no horse. "Dude, where's my horse?"  
"Where's your horse dude?"  
"Dude, where is my horse?"  
"Where's yer horse dude?"  
"DUDE! Whereismyhorse?"  
"Dude, where's your horse, dude?" Mat and Perrin walked off repeating themselves.  
"ANWAY, now that the woolheads are gone, let's get out too!" Egwene offered. Everyone agreed. 


End file.
